Sixth: Patience

It’s been three weeks since my heart procedure and overall I feel great. I have some random little pains here and there but I was told those would occur while my body adjusts to the device they installed. Other than that it sucks being on blood thinners (everything hurts) but all things considered I’m not complaining. I’m doing as I’m told and keeping exertion levels to a minimum. I wouldn’t say I’m used to it but I’ve accepted it as my normal for now.

I’ve also trying to accept the uncertainty of this tumor I have in my neck. Is it growing? Is it just chilling? Should I be worried? These questions are never far away and neither are the bottomless pits thinking about the answers. I’m doing my best to stay calm and just breathe when things start to race. I feel like I’ve taken my own self control to a whole new level and I’m extremely appreciative for that. ***Sequoia and I will be going to DC Sep 9th to get more scans. We should know then if the tumor is growing or not. If it is it will likely mean surgery, radiation, or both. If it isn’t it’ll likely mean we continue to monitor it and not take any immediate action. No easy choice, no ideal outcome. 2.5 more weeks in limbo.