While climbing out of the canyon after a solo jump this morning I got thinking on some of the reasons I BASE jump and wanted to get a few thoughts down so heres my ramble.
I think the main reason I love jumping is the freedom it gives you. I’ve found nothing to date that gives you so much responsibility for yourself. Each time you step off the edge you are tested, and each time it is completely different experience regardless of the type of jump you are doing, or the object you are leaving. In saying that there is a certain level of comfort that comes from jumping the same object multiple times, but each experience is still very unique.
It’s the ultimate test of you against you. There is no outside opponent, and no one to save you. You make your choices, and either live or die with them.
The journey of acceptance with this process is a deep and meaningful one and that goes far beyond the surface of what can often be perceived as being an ‘adrenaline junkie’ or ‘crazy’.
I’m a pretty introverted guy and I get very anxious in big groups of people so I usually keep to myself or have a few close friends with me. This goes beyond jumping. I’m not in it for glory, to be famous, make friends, or whatever else. Those things may or may not come as a part of my pursuit, but they have no bearing on my involvement in this world. My pull to it is a much deeper one, which no matter how often I try to articulate it, I can never do it justice.
I keep a pretty low profile in general. I’ve always been like this in whatever activity I’ve been involved in. I like jumping solo or in very small groups. It’s hard for me to focus when there is a lot of people around.
Sure, I make videos, and post photos from time to time, but thats more for myself than anyone else. I like art and in a sense that is my art. I like to capture memories for myself number one, and I share them as a secondary thought to perhaps inspire others to live their lives on their terms. I know that before I committed to this life full time I used to watch a lot of videos to inspire me on my own journey and if I can do that for someone else, awesome. To me it doesn’t matter what the content actually is, it’s what it represents. I can get just as inspired watching yoga, philosophy lectures, people working out, or even talking about horror movies. What inspires me is seeing people do things that they are passionate about and I feel thats ultimately what counts in life.
We are gifted with a relatively short period of time in this world so to do anything you are not passionate about for a long period of time is crazy in my eyes. The fear of failure, judgement, and even death can be present in whatever you do so why not have those challenges in the pursuit of something that matters to you vs something that doesn’t?
It’s not easy breaking the moulds you have been held within, sometimes for years, but life on the other side is pretty fucking good let me tell you. Once you break the mould and start to see that you are the one in control with no exceptions it’s addictive, and extremely empowering. AND you don’t have to parachute off cliffs in order to figure this out. I figured it out when I left Ireland over 10 years ago and since then it’s been one decision after another that has shaped my life to the way I want it.
The sacrifices, and mental battles you get to deal with are endless, but they are always present no matter your quest. If you’ve your going to deal with all that anyways, then you may as well be dealing with them in relation to something you actually want to pursue right?